Bloody SunDIE

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Bloody SunDIE... A semi-serious fapfic about chicken nuggets and cute ass horses.


One time, while masturbating furiously while wrapping myself in tinfoil in order to protect myself from the Sun's DEATH RAYS, I looked outside and shit myself because I saw a guy staring at me. I came because he was fucking hot and then he climbed up onto the windowsill and he had no pants on. I was super spooked because he didn't have a penis or vagina, just a bloody crotch with the words, "What day is it?" scrawled in it haphazardly. I looked deeper into it, and I saw a reflection of myself. But the reflection was much closer than it should have been. I looked a bit deeper into it, until he smashed the window and my reflection pulled me into the blood. I looked around until I laid my eyes on a girl sitting on top of a ledge. She hopped down and introduced me to the place I was in. She called it "Roriksdead", or something along those lines. I was confused, so I asked her about the name. She didn't answer me, and instead said that this place was a cryptic physical form of my past experiences. I asked her what her name was, and she told me that she was nameless. She asked if she could trust me, to which I replied simply, "You answer first.". She said she couldn't be trusted, and I told her the same. I stifled a conversation out of it, saying, "We could trust each other since we are untrustworthy. It's almost like the bonds between thieves." She asked what that was, and I told her that it was a code where they told each other about their crimes, and then they could work together easily knowing that they are in a stalemate if they betrayed each other. This gave them trust, a cruel, misshapen trust only they can see. "Since we can trust each other, then, could you help me with something?" she said. I said okay, and she told me that she needed help back up onto the ledge. I told her to stand on my shoulder, and once she did, I stood up and she climbed up. I requested she do the same for me, but she just said, "I can trust you, I guess!" before hopping back down. I got fumed about this, so I told her that I would need to release my primal aggression, smacking her earlobes until they went numb. Then, she could gently, firmly grasp my booty, before releasing her aggression in the form of a fist to the rectal cavity. She told me to get the fuck out, so I did, and then she slapped my booty while I was leaving. "And YOU'RE someone I can trust!" I said, grabbing her arm and forcing her to come closer. Later that day, I found that the one who slapped my booty was actually born from SG's furious desire to fuck a guy. I found that pretty hot, so I jerked off to it. Also, I died. And it was Jesus who smashed the window, and I found that he had done that because I didn't go to church, so I did and I became closer to god because I went to heaven from the fairy dust the Father kept in the back room. THE END, NOW GET THE FUCK OUT.
You're cute.